HOW I BOUNCED BACK FROM ANXIETY TO JOY AND ALIGNMENT
Anxiety has become such as buzzword in recent years.
Yet those affected by it know how hard it can be. An anxiety attack is like a knitted sweater that’s got a loose threat — once you pull on it, you can undo the whole thing in a heartbeat.
This is how it feels in my mind as well. I get triggered by one thing, and then the ego dishes up all the other things that could go wrong and that it wants me to worry about.
It happened again yesterday.
I was helping my man with his German tax papers when I felt my stress levels rising rapidly.
Naturally, I felt as confused as he did. We finally managed to get through it, but the inner stress and resulting overwhelm triggered a massive wave of panic and anxiety in me. It led me on a downward spiral of self-doubt and utter despair.
One doubtful thought led to another until I was completely thrown out of alignment.
I couldn’t stop bawling, I felt miserable and shaking. I doubted my whole existence and everything I was doing, deeming it all worthless and utterly meaningless.
I tried to stay functional, but anyone who’s ever experienced deep anxiety knows how hard that is. Even breathing is hard when you suffer from a panic attack.
But then, in a moment of conscious awareness, I remembered that I had a choice: I felt how my Big She, my Inner Guide, was coaxing me up from the bed and into the shower.
And I could witness my ego’s resistance.
It wanted me to stay stuck in self-pity and wallowing for the rest of the day, waiting for someone (my husband, maybe) to pick me up and care for me.
But I chose that which is strong in me.
My intuition, or what I call my Big She, guided me to chop some carrots and make a comforting soup, walk to the store to buy two packs of fresh milk (warm milk with a dollop of honey is a great anxiety soother!) and make a delicious lunch with a lit candle for added coziness.
While I had a cup of milk with honey, I wrote in my journal about all the things I feel grateful for, followed by 15 minutes of stillness gazing out the window at the tall pine tree in our yard.
I slowly started to feel stable again. Peace was returning to my mind. Then I felt called to dance, so I moved my body to Adele’s powerful voice for three reviving songs.
Then it was time to prepare for my interview with Michaela Boehm; it went amazingly well and we had so much fun, giggling together like two teenage girls!
Afterward, I was back in alignment and creative ideas and inspiration for new content kept pouring in.
Rather than beating up on myself that I didn’t get any work done until 4 pm that day, I choose to reframe the situation by seeing it like this:
Anxiety is a silent killer, and it can completely throw me off track. However, I am grateful that I am always guided (and so are you, dear reader) by my Big She.
Being closer than my own thoughts, She knows me inside out.
She knows how to guide me back into alignment with Her when I am off. When I’m in alignment, can I receive Her eternal love, joy, happiness, creativity, and inspiration much more easily.
She’ll do anything She can to guide me out of the “negative” emotional spectrum and back into balance and inner stability.
After years of struggling with this, I now know that anxiety is not what defines me.
This is not who I really am.
I can always call upon my Inner Guide to help me remember who I really am.
And so can you.
When you trust Her and the way She guides you from within (through your feelings and intuition) instead of listening to the guidance of the ego, you will rebound so much faster.
Within a couple of hours, I was back on track.
Something that could have stretched out for days or even weeks before is now restored to sanity within hours or even minutes, thanks to my spiritual practice, which consists of asking for help (prayer) and receiving the answers (training to listen through meditation and stillness).
For that, I am deeply grateful. I am also deeply grateful for the luxury to follow my inner guidance like this, being able to manage my own time and energy levels while working from home.
But even if you don’t have the luxury to do this, your Inner Guide knows exactly how to help you come back into alignment in any situation. She works with what’s available to you now, as Her wisdom contains the wisdom of the whole Universe.
She is not shy to guide you towards that, you only need to be willing to listen and receive.
Leaning more and more toward the light of love inside of you rather than relying on the counsel of your inner politician will not make you immune to the contrasts of the world we live in.
It does, however, help you get through “hiccups” (such as anxiety and panic attacks) much faster, and they will occur less and less frequently.
It’s all about what inner teacher you choose to listen to.
With practice, you learn to trust the voice for love in your mind more than the voice of fear, and you will rebound so much faster from anxiety and panic attacks, or whatever stresses you’re currently dealing with.
The Universe always has an answer for you, and no human concern is too big or too small to also be a concern of God.
At the end of the day, I felt perfectly calm, happy, and inspired again. Once I’d prayed for help, it was offered immediately. I trusted to follow it and did what She guided me to do without a doubt. When I finally re-aligned with my Big She, all Her love (and resulting emotional stability), joy, and inspiration were back.
So no matter what you’re currently going through, remember that you’re never without guidance. Call upon Spirit to help you, and help will be offered the moment you ask.
If you feel curious to build a connection with your own inner guide, check out my free five-day mini-course, “Awaken Your Big SHE.” It’s a great way to start feeling yourself on a deeper level and to get in touch with Her loving guidance from within. To download the course for FREE, visit www.nadjaeriksson.com